The Oil For The Engine of Marriage
by Olawale Ogunsola
Every mind that discusses ideas
Each mind that discusses issues.
All minds that discuss persons.” Author Unknown.
There was a minor feud between a couple some years ago. The marriage was a young one, about a year old.
What was the bone of contention? Silence and avoidance! How?
The woman’s complaint about the husband was, “If I speak for one hour, he will not utter a word. Sometimes, he makes me feel as if am speaking to a dummy. If I ask many times (to press him for a response), he would on many occasions stand up and go away from me. For how long do I live a lonely life as a married woman with a husband under the same roof?”
The few mediators on hand looked at one another’s faces in unbelief because they knew the husband as a lively man anyone would like to live with. What did the man of the house have to say?
“What my wife said was half-truth which is a close sister of a lie. Any time she comes with any good idea, she is my witness, we can discuss heartily for hours. Every time she raises any interesting issue, most especially sports, I am there for her for reasonable minutes. I can tolerate that. However, when it comes to a matter of discussing persons, I have no flare for that and that is my spouse’s pastime. I don’t discuss persons except if it is about how to improve or help that individual. But when it comes to discussing a fall, mistake, weakness, and such likes about others, I am not available. I don’t like using other people’s mistakes or weaknesses to cover mine. ”
I have come across so many women with the same complaint as this woman in the write up, certain women have labelled their husbands as “dumb.” A woman once said that a reason she does not stay at her home was that there was no one to speak with although she lived with her husband who was self employed and works around his home.
Do you suffer the same fate? Do you have one near you who has the same plight?
Here are a few biblical solutions:
First, try as much as possible to watch what you love to discuss. Examine yourself. It takes maturity to examine one’s thoughts, words and deeds to identify one’s weakness for the purpose of making amends.
People love to blame others for their own mistakes, are you one of them? You need to introduce a change. The Psalmist has this to say about himself, “Before I was afflicted, I went astray, But now I keep your word.
It is good for me that I have been afflicted, That I may learn your statutes.” Psalm 119:64, 71
Two, know who your husband is. It is sheer foolishness to be a stranger to his likes and dislikes or to attempt to force a bitter pill of what he hates through his throat. You have been called to peace. Your home should be your place of rest. Don’t set it ablaze. Know what your man loves. Speak along that line to make him happy.
Three, from that point, you can introduce what you love to discuss with him but not those things that will put him off as soon as you raise them. Let him explain to you why he hates to discuss certain things with you. You can learn from him and he can learn from you, if you do not present your case with pride or with the intention to dominate him.
Stay blessed and rapturable because the Lord is coming soon.
The Author is the set man of CTFM (WORLD OUTREACH) and presiding pastor of Christ Restland Gospel Church. He is a poet and author of many books. Visit his blogs www.4thlink.wordpress.com and www.peacelink.wordpress.com for more quality content.
Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS